Big Ole Loser.

2011-09-05T19:39:00.000-04:00

Here is baby sister, Sawyer.

Wow, it's been quite some time...

2011-09-05T18:45:00.000-04:00

I originally started this blog to keep track go my weight loss following my lap-band surgery. So let me just catch you up.
Lost a bunch of weight, met a cute boy, fell in love, got married, had a baby, got cancer. In that order.

So I'm thinking I'm gonna shift the focus of this a bit to chronicle my growing baby girl and my road to a full recovery from cancer.

It's been so long, I'm gonna have to figure out how to use this again. So gimmie a few, and I'll get some pics together.

Weight a minute...

2009-04-02T11:26:00.002-04:00

I had a fill on Monday. I was beginning to eat everything in site and had no problem with it! He added 0.5 this time. I have no idea how much is in there, because he never measures it. This was my third fill and I am down 69 pounds! I can't believe I have made it this far. I still don't see myself as a smaller size.... I got rid of 17 pair of jeans the other day. I had some major anxiety about giving them away. Now I have 1 pair of jeans hanging in there. I've decided not to buy anymore clothes until summer. Still not sure about a bathing suit. I tried on my one from last summer and it's just not gonna work!

Road Block

2009-02-05T09:10:00.002-05:00

I had a fill appt on Friday. After seeing how much weight I had lost my surgeon suggested we wait for a fill. Which I totally agreed with, I had been so tight I could take about two bites of food and was done. Well here I am a week later and I have very, very little restriction. I can eat almost anything I want and have gained 2 pounds........ So I am thinking of calling and asking for a small fill. I'm not sure if he will do it or not, he is very conservative when it comes to fills. I'm calling TODAY!!!!!

I did it!

2009-01-26T10:44:00.002-05:00

So I weighed myself this morning, even though its not my official weigh day......and...drum roll please..50lbs.... This is a major goal! The sad thing is though, that I've lost 50 lbs and I'm still fat. But I'm getting there. If I can do 50 lbs in 4 months then another 30-40 should be a breeze!! Right?

2009-01-25T23:21:00.000-05:00

Why don't I spell check?

Bad Girl

2009-01-25T22:14:00.002-05:00

So I guess I am officially the worst blogger ever. I have to say that the past few months have been crazy. There is this ex-or soon to be ex husband that I am trying to deal with and dating has never been so hard...How do explain on a first date that you can only take 2 bites of food? OHHH this steak is so good...however if I eat more than 2 bites of this delicious morsel I might vomit?!?!?!?WTF?

I have had a total of 3 fills at this point. I have an appt on the 30th but I will not ask for a fill. As of today I am down 49 lbs....in4 months.. I am so excited. I can't wait till I can say 80 lbs. that is only another 30ish lbs!!!!!! So when I go for my visit how can I explain that in no way shape or form do I need another fill? I went to Williamsburg last weekend to visit my bestest friend and could barely eat anything. It was kinda depressing. I actually got a bit mad with my band. Is this a normal feeling????I just wanted to have fun and PIG out......Well I soon realized there will be NO pigging out. What. so. ever.

I am curious as to what restiction feels like to the rest of you. I always thought I would feel like I ate Thanksgiving dinner over and over again. But thats not what it feels like to me. I have a permanent golf ball in my throat. If I try to push any bit of food in there past that golf ball..well..here it comes right back up! So the past week I have taught myself to put the f**king fork down and breathe between bites. 2 little chicken nuggets.....we're talking 45 minutes . I can't complain almost 50 lbs down and starting to feel good about myself. And then there is the ex husband who continues to lie even though it doesn't matter anymore. He already ruined my and my little babies lives once..I will not let that ****er do it again!!!

I am doing my best to stay positive, be positive and live positive. It is a work in progress. I have spent sooooo much time being negative and feeling sorry for myself, I'm sure what else to do. I'm trying anf I'm sure if I live it I will be it....eventually.

I think..maybe....

2008-11-21T10:29:00.002-05:00

I just left the doctors office and got my second fill. He told me to eat soft foods the rest of today. So I get home and fix some mashed potatoes and lo and behold have only been able to eat about 5 bites. 5 little bites. We'll see how the rest of today goes, but I feel like this is a good sign!!!!!

Ready

2008-11-19T20:30:00.002-05:00

I've been so busy this week, I've barely noticed my hunger... No not really! I was on call Tuesday and of course was called in due to JCAHO inspecting our hospital. So now I am working 3 days in a row plus Sat, which is great cause I need the $$$$!

I have an appointment Friday for my #2 fill. I just am so unsure of what is happening in my belly. If I eat too fast or anything bread or doughy I feel like an elephant is standing on my chest, but then it passes and I can continue to eat. If I chew slow enough I can eat just like I did pre-band. So I am guessing that this is NOT restriction...Right? I just can't wait to feel restriction and start losing again. At this point I keep losing and regaining the same 4 pounds. I was hoping to be in onederland by Christmas. I am praying that this fill will help!!!!!

Limbo

2008-11-04T09:09:00.000-05:00

It's 2 weeks since my first fill and at first I thought maybe I had restriction, but i was wrong, wrong , wrong. The first day or so I did eat less, ut not much less. Now I really never have a feeling of fullness.The only thing I feel is a terrible someone sitting on my chest feeling if I eat to fast. However if I eat slowly I can eat whatever and how much ever I want. My second fill is not until Nov 18th. Hopefully that will do something. Right now I keep gaining and losing the same 4 lbs. SUCKS!!!!!

This is 30 lbs down.

First Fill!!!

2008-10-17T16:01:00.000-04:00

I finally got my first fill today. It was absolutely painless. My doctor numbed the site and then filled it with 1.5 cc's. He then made me drink a cup of water to make sure I could hold it down. It was so easy, I think I was anxious for nothing. I had read so many different things. Some people said it hurt, but luckily not for me. I can't really tell if I have any restriction because I haven't eat anything solid yet. Liquids until tomorrow and then I should take it slow.

Oh...and I found out today that my band holds 14 cc and they do a fill every month. To me this seems a bit conservative based on other things I have read. But that's fine, I'll take it!!!

How lap band is inserted.

2008-10-16T17:24:00.001-04:00

A lot of my friends have been asking about the band & how it is inserted and filled etc...

So I found this video to help explain things.

What now???

2008-09-13T09:51:00.000-04:00

A week and 3 days sout from surgery. Not really sore now. There is a bit of tenderness of the port site still, bit only when I bed over or something. I am now on a thick liquid diet. That means pudding, yogurt, mashed potatoes etc. I am feeling hungry these days as well. My stomach isn't swollen anymore so I guess I now feel hunger. Sucks. I wasn't hungry at all the first week. What happens now? My follow up appt is Fri the 19th. I will ask about my 1st fill then.

Banded

2008-09-04T20:50:00.000-04:00

I'm officially banded. I was banded yesterday and stayed one nite in hospital. Only had to spend the nite because it's a new procedure at this hospital. Doc said everything went wonderful. I have 5 tiny incisions and only in a bit of discomfort. I feel like I have done 4000 sit ups. Sent me home with liquid Percocet, which makes me oh so sleepy and itchy! I have been sipping on H2O all day today and have had 2 oz of protein drink for my meals. I am using Unjury protein powder that my nutritionist recommended. It tastes pretty good. It comes in chocolate, vanilla, strawberry and unflavored. It also comes in chicken soup flavor to make broth with. So far have only tried chocolate.

My weight today is 219, down from 231, this loss from pre-op diet. So tired!!!! think I'll go to bed now!

Approved

2008-08-29T12:29:00.000-04:00

I had my appt with the surgeon today and my surgery was approved YAY!!!!! I'm going for all my pre-op stuff right now. More later.

2008-08-28T20:51:00.000-04:00

Requisite "Before" photo.
In case you didn't know, I'm the fat one in pink.

Trying this out!

2008-08-28T20:17:00.000-04:00

So I am going to try to blog about my lap band journey. I have a surgery date for Sept 3rd, pending insurance approval. This has all happened very quickly. Once I made up my mind to do it, it seems like everything has fallen right into place! My first appt with my surgeon was at the beginning of August. However, now that they have given me an actual date, I am starting to get a little freaked out!!!! Having all these thoughts about foods I may never get to eat again, liquids for 2 wks....can I really do this? For so long I have wondered what it would feel like to walk into a room and be noticed and now I find myself wondering if that will freak me out. I am so used to be unnoticed that being noticed is kinda scary! Then I ask myself if this will really work. Of course it will, but what if I am that person that it doesn't work for and then I've done all this for nothing? I have already lost a few pounds on my pre-op diet, when I weighed today I was 227 down from 231. Not a great drop, but at least it's something. Tomorrow I have an appt with my surgeon and all my pr-op labs. I will post news after that.

2008-05-30T19:59:00.000-04:00